I am pretty darn stubborn, and don't pick up on subtitles very often. Especially when they are about changing my behavior. But one doesn't need to be super observant to pick up on the not-so subtle signs the universe is sending my way. Evidently, I need to give myself a break. As if this is news to anyone. Dozens of friends and family members gently, but frequently, remind me that will work themselves out, I've been dealing with blindness for less than a year, things don't happen overnight, etc. . . . All things necessary for me to hear. Often. But like a lot of things this advice is easily given, and very hard to take. So I am pretty sure the universe has resorted to alternative forms of manipulation. Coincidence or not, in the past 4 hours I have seen the following:
- The yoga studio with a giant poster that read, "Just Breathe."
- The salon/spa with their advertisement for chair massages reading, "Feeling Stressed?"
- Perhaps the most obvious: The Anxiety Symposium being held at the hotel today.
It became a little difficult to ignore the message when I ran smack into a giant sign that said, "Why We Worry." The surprise of the physicality of the sign was nothing compared to the message. I was tempted to forgo my daily schedule and sneak in the back of the banquet hall. What a perfect opportunity. My presence would be mutually beneficial. I'd make an ideal specimen to analyze. An educated, self-aware individual who knows her anxiety is completely irrational but can't do a damn thing to rid herself of it. Perhaps if I subjected myself to 200 + professionals they might be able brainstorm a cure.
Alright universe. You win. I am listening and will try to develop a plan for handling my anxiety in a more productive way. Ironically, attempting to do this is making me quite anxious.