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Monday, July 25, 2011

Explanation of My Absence

It's been over a month since my last blog post. I have half a dozen partially written posts can be found in my laptop, iPod, and backs on envelopes, but haven't been able to find the time to complete, edit, or post them. Shockingly the amount of time since my last post happens to be roughly the same as my little darlin' has been fully mobile. Hmmm. .  . coincidence? I think not.

Every evening I collapse on to the sofa just long enough to catch my breath before hopping up again to tackle all the things I can no longer do while she is awake, ergo moving. I am not complaining = well not much anyway. Nothing gives me greater joy than to follow Emeline around watching her take in her surroundings, test new boundries, and become more and more adept at walking on two feet. But the constant chasing, policing, and cleaning is utterly exhausting. She doesn't stop moving. Ever. Not even while eating or sleeping (both of which she does extremely well). My little whirlwind can not be deterred or contained from whatever task she is intent on completing. Whether it be emptying every single feminine product out of their boxes, along with anything else that might be under the bathroom sink, or climbing all over every inch of furniture we have in our house she is hysterically adorable - but unpredictable and destructive.

Normally, I'm not one to be overly picky about finding tampons in my shoes or that my purse has been emptied all over the living room floor for the fourth time that week. An awful lot has been going on to divert my attention to other aspects of my life other than motherhood. With my focus and time being more divided it's been increasingly more difficult to maintain my patience.

In the last two months Joshua and I have been busy making decisions to get our life back on track. This past year really waylaid all of the plans we had. You think we'd be used to feelings of general upheaval. After all, the only thing that has remained predictable over the last 6 years is that any plans we put in place are going to need to be changed.

Just to give you a sense of what has precipitated the life-changing events that have occurred in the last few years I've created this handy reference list.

1. Spent a gazillion (rough estimate) dollars getting pregnant
2. Got tremendously and critically ill
3. Had baby
4.  Lost vision, while having said baby, and getting tremendous and critically ill.
5, Spent next 3 months in and out of hospitals.
6. Spent the next 7 months learning how to adjust to being a legally-blind mother while simultaneously getting physical strength and emotional stability back.
7. Spent 2 months in Kalamazoo learning how to adapt to being legally blind and learning skills that would one day enable me to return to work.
8. Spent the next 2 months reveling in being a mother and loving every single minute.

This brings us to June 2011. In June, I decided I would return to teaching, part-time in September. I am  confident that this decision is the best for me, my family, and my students. I will be returning to Long Meadow but not third-grade (where I've taught for 6 years). My heart is in teaching and Long Meadow is filled with families and co-workers who are like family to me. I am thrilled about the opportunity to job-share in 4th grade and return to the career I love.

However, deciding to return to work created a few obstacles. I can't drive and currently live 16 miles from work. There is one co-worker  and good friend of mine who lives nearby whom I might be able to carpool with, but the logistics of coordinating our schedules along with our collective three children makes my head spin. The responsibility of transportation is just too much for one person, and I wouldn't feel right asking, or allowing,  a dear friend to take that on. Josh and I kicked around several ideas and we made the decision to put our house  up for sale and look for a house to rent in Rochester.

Once this decision was made things moved very quickly. Our house was listed on July 8th. That same day Josh and I went to see a rental that had accidental fallen into our lap and decided instantly that it would be perfect for us. Within 24 hours we were approved by the rental company and told we could move in the following Friday. So within 7 days, I had to simultaneously keep my house clean for showings and pack up all our belongings in preparation for moving.

In the midst of all of this Josh heard about a job opportunity within his current organization, interviewed several times, and was offered the position. While nothing is set in stone yet, at this moment it appears that he will be starting this new job at the beginning of August.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. These are all VERY good changes. Josh and I are truly excited and positive about our future for the first time in over a year. It just feels like it's happening quickly and I am still processing. Add an active, almost 14 month old to the mix and you can understand why my patience has been a little thin.

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