First off, I am overwhelmed by your on-going encouragement and
support! The messages I've received over the last few days - sharing your own
stories; sending me words of love, hope, and virtual hugs, mean so much. My
heart is full of happiness and my eyes are brimming with tears of gratitude. I
am one lucky gal.
That is the lesson I am taking away from
my follow-up visit with my retinal specialist at Kellogg yesterday. I really am
quite lucky. As Dr. J. reminded me, my vision has come a LONG way from those
first dark days. (Pun absolutely intended) My eyes healed in ways that far
surpassed his initial assessment and expectations. We knew that I would reach a
point where we would no longer see any improvement and that plateau of progress
was reached over two years ago. There have been no discernible changes in my
vision. The physical trauma my eyes endured has healed completely. The scars
and thin spots on my retinas are the only evidence that remains of the
disturbance and there is no real way to identify the cause behind those
anomalies. Everything else has healed as much as it is going to.
I wrote about reaching this plateau nearly
two years ago, after my last appointment with Dr. J - you can read the post here. It's really tremendous how many of these feelings I
have (still/again?) after my appointment yesterday. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky
to have progressed this far and have the vision I do have. I am grateful for
these things but there is, and maybe always will be, a part of me that will
struggle to accept that this is as far as my vision will improve. Seeing the
world through damaged eyes will remain my new normal.
Ultimately I'm okay with that, mostly
because I have to be. There isn't much I can do but accept, continue to adapt,
and carry on.
So I'm going to carry on by playing with
my ever energetic daughter and catching up with a good friend this evening. At
some point we'll raise a glass and toast progress made, accepting reality, and
new normals. Cheers.