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Friday, February 28, 2014

Follow-Up

First off, I am overwhelmed by your on-going encouragement and support! The messages I've received over the last few days - sharing your own stories; sending me words of love, hope, and virtual hugs, mean so much. My heart is full of happiness and my eyes are brimming with tears of gratitude. I am one lucky gal.

That is the lesson I am taking away from my follow-up visit with my retinal specialist at Kellogg yesterday. I really am quite lucky. As Dr. J. reminded me, my vision has come a LONG way from those first dark days. (Pun absolutely intended) My eyes healed in ways that far surpassed his initial assessment and expectations. We knew that I would reach a point where we would no longer see any improvement and that plateau of progress was reached over two years ago. There have been no discernible changes in my vision. The physical trauma my eyes endured has healed completely. The scars and thin spots on my retinas are the only evidence that remains of the disturbance and there is no real way to identify the cause behind those anomalies. Everything else has healed as much as it is going to. 
I wrote about reaching this plateau nearly two years ago, after my last appointment with Dr. J - you can read the post here. It's really tremendous how many of these feelings I have (still/again?) after my appointment yesterday. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to have progressed this far and have the vision I do have. I am grateful for these things but there is, and maybe always will be, a part of me that will struggle to accept that this is as far as my vision will improve. Seeing the world through damaged eyes will remain my new normal. 
Ultimately I'm okay with that, mostly because I have to be. There isn't much I can do but accept, continue to adapt, and carry on. 

So I'm going to carry on by playing with my ever energetic daughter and catching up with a good friend this evening. At some point we'll raise a glass and toast progress made, accepting reality, and new normals. Cheers.

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