Monday, June 23, 2014

Further Evidence to Why I Shouldn't Operate Motorized Vehicles or Machinery

I honestly have to chuckle at the idea of driving. As you may have read in my latest FBF post my last attempt didn't go so well. Honestly it's not like I should have been surprised. I can barely make it through a day without rendering something completely useless just by using it as intended. Here are some recent examples of my uncanny ability to destroy.

I can't even keep track of my cell phone in my own home for an entire day without having to send Emy or Josh on a frantic search for it in the harried moments before we leave the house. Since February I have lost one phone, utterly and completely mystified by its disappearance, and a mere two weeks later, after shelling out mega bucks, I shattered the screen of my replacement. Even though with the replacement phone I decided to buy the extra insurance, I've been living with the broken screen. Until shards of glass get stuck in my fingers or the phone is no longer operable it's just better this way.
Along with the actual phone, I'm prone to destroying all of it's accessories. With my previous model (which did last me 3 years!) I managed to break 2 "Indestructible" phone cases, one of which was supposedly Life Proof. Ha! Not to my life buddy! I also go through at least 1 set of headphones every month or two and I just discovered this morning that neither of my power cords are working correctly. WTH? I swear I didn't do anything to them!

Mowing the lawn has been a fairly enjoyable summer chore for me. Although we have approximately 3/4 of an acre of grass to mow and it takes about 2 - 2 1/2 hours to mow both our front and back yard, I really don't mind. Josh is so busy with work in the summer and when he is home Emy is desperate for his attention (and I for a break) I almost look forward to mowing the lawn. I pop my headphones in, put on my favorite podcast, and enjoy some relatively quiet activity in the sunshine. Due to my limited vision I'm not the most accurate grass cutter, but luckily neither Josh nor I, care very deeply about the overall uniformity of the lawn. As long as we aren't in the running for shaggiest lawn on the block, we're pretty happy. Over the past two summers I have had a couple minor incidents where I've misjudged the distance from a drainage pipe and our rain gutter and nicked them with the blade, but nothing too terrible. Minor damage to both of those metal tubes but our lawn mower is a champ and took these mishaps in stride.
Until the incident this week.

A stump, hidden by tall grass in our backyard was to blame. I didn't see it - couldn't differentiate the stump from the shadows the surrounding trees in that part of the lawn. It wasn't until the mower shut off suddenly with a loud thunk and I couldn't easily retract it that I realized what I had hit. I restarted the mower and attempted to finish the last 10 yards or so, and promptly stopped when I saw the grass was being cut down to the soil. Oops. Upon inspection I found one end of the blade bent at almost a 90 degree angle. Guess it's a good thing this happened way in our back yard. Further evidence that a lawn service may be the way to go. 

Apparently I can't even operate a washing machine without eventually rendering it useless. Laundry and dishes are the two chores I do most frequently and were the first ones I felt confident in resuming when my vision began to stabilize. They're so routine that they are virtually mindless and although I dread the endlessness of them I do find comfort in the routine. Laundry in particular, because it offers me opportunities to rock out to music while sorting, watch TV while folding clothes, and listen to audio books while putting them away. Because I am home all the time and there is always laundry to be done, I try to stay on top of it and do a load or two every day. By incorporating my media consumption into the task I have built in Me-Time every day. Although it may be hard to tell, doing this goes a long way to keeping me sane. 
Today while Emy was napping I went to start a load and found (not surprisingly) a load I had started yesterday evening that was left in the washer. No biggie, rewashing may make me feel somewhat guilty about the wasted water, but it is worth it to not have clothes smelling dank and mildewy. I started the machine and went to work on a blog post. This blog post. About how inept I can be with machines. When I went to change the laundry I discovered  a 1/2 inch of water covering my laundry room floor, and the washer still completely full of water. 

Uh, okay Universe, I get it. You're super funny and ironic. You win.
 Now STOP IT. 

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